I had this whole post all typed up and I lost it.
Let's just start again. I'm the Queen of Starting again. lol. You will soon come to find out. I need to lose 80-100 lbs. I joined Weight Watchers back in November and only weighed in there once. The day I joined, in fact. lol. I did good over the holidays, believe it or not....but these last 2 weeks have been hell. I've been eating my feelings!!!
Last week, 2 of the 4 kids were sick. This week, the other 2 got sick. I've been to the Dr with them 3 times in the last 2 weeks, and had blood draws done on my baby girl. It has not been fun.
Anyway, I am a survivor. I keep going. I do. I don't know how but I do. I've survived abandonment, neglect, abuse, sexual abuse, date rape, money issues, my MIL, hell, I am STILL trying to survive her. I'm the product of a couple of sick people. My biological father is a schizophrenic. My biological mom is...well...I think bipolar. She is definitely still in denial and it's 30 years later. I'm sure I will go into all of that again at some point.
For right now, the more pressing issues. My sister, who is a year younger than me is in the Psych ward again. She's suicidal at this time. Or tried it again. I'm not sure which. The first time, I was 13 and she was 12. The second time I was 17 and a month away from graduating HS. She was 16. Those are the times we KNOW about. My mom (adoptive mom--I do NOT refer to the "Egg Donor" as Mom, only as Bio Mom or Egg Donor) called me yesterday to tell me she was up at the hospital with her and wouldn't make my oldest son's first play/musical at school. My heart jumped in my throat because I love my sister. I am not going to lie and say that I wasn't a bit ticked off. I kind of felt like my mom could let my sister's case worker handle it for the night so she could come and see my son and me. However, over the years I have learned that the neediest gets my parents' attention.
This isn't a "poor me" blog, I'm just speaking reality. My reality. I have a second biological sister who is an addict. She's been sober for 5 years now. Well, off drugs anyway and alcohol. Now the Love Addiction....she's NEVER kicked that. Currently she is engaged to an active drug addict. As in, he just went to rehab again in October for a few weeks. As of January, he's been sober 30 days. They are getting married, out of state, next month. Again, that will be a different post for a different day... lol.
With all of that it's no wonder I am so overweight. Truth is, i wasn't always overweight. As a teenager, I was a pretty normal sized girl. Pretty much through college, too. Then at 25 I took a job in a field I wasn't interested in and worked with a bunch of backstabbing clicky women. Within 6 months I had packed on 40-50 lbs, and fell in a love with a wonderful guy.
I'm gonna stop right there for now. I once worked for a Dr who told me I should write a book about my life....so I'm starting with a blog.
